Buhtt sex?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
