Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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