that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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