How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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