Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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