STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
