How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
