Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
