i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
