Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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