that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
