According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
