I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
