If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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