he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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