Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
