Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
