Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
