Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
