just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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