so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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