I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
