my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
