Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
