Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
