hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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