what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
