guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
