We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
