We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
