Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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