I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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