I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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