hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
