I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
