I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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