i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
