I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
