She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
