I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
