This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
