So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
