so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You don't make any sense
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