Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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