But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
