It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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