Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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