Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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