I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she peed on how many people?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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