Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
