i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize